Trapped in Matter

Packing Up The Wagon

I found out a last Friday that theWife and I will be moving away from Chicago in TWO(!) weeks. We were entertaining the thought of moving in a few months, but not in two short weeks. In a matter of two days, theWife was notified of an open position for employment and accepted a the offer, I have a job, and we have a place to drop anchor (bought for us to rent by her new employer). Read more about this here.

The Trek to Chicago

A group of friends and band mates, my wife, and myself moved to Chicago from a small town in Indiana nearly 5 years ago. The driving force to migrate was so our band could to be part of a large music scene and hopefully one day become rock stars. That intention slowly fell apart for myself over the course of our first year living here. theWife and I fell in love with Chicago and continued living in the city.

Xeper

My time spent in Chicago has been life changing, but not always in a positive light, at least not at the time. During the first half of my time spent here my life seemed to be destroyed, or re-evaluated, depending on how you look at it. My mother died a couple of weeks after moving; the band fell apart within the first year which resulted in the temporary loss of friendships to the people whom I held close to my heart; my father ruined what little of a relationship we had by choosing to be more concerned with the demands of a con woman, than the well-being of his sons (long story); my wife and a parasitic lowlife masquerading himself as a friend were having an affair behind my back, thus pushing my wife and I to the threshold of divorce; and I spent many days on the roof of my workplace looking down on Michigan avenue, dismayed at the direction my life was going -- contemplating suicide.

I had walked through the Void and survived.

The second half of my time here appears to been a period of reflection and rebuilding myself. As much as it hurt going through that dark period, it appears to me that it had to happen. I have gone through various forms of transformation, all for a more positive experience. I AM becoming centered now. I have less weight to carry. Furthermore, I would not be who I AM had it not and had I not been moved to Chicago allowing it to manifest.

Giving Thanks

Living in Chicago has given me the opportunity to experience life in a much different way than I would have still living in my small hometown. Living here opened my mind to new experiences and tore down many illusions. One of the first things that I noticed living in Chicago is the diversity of cultures that all intermingle with each other within the city. While waiting to cross a busy street in downtown Chicago, a person standing next to me asked what I loved most about Chicago, and without hesitation I responded to his question with, "The diversity of people." He earnestly agreed and said that homogeneity is not a good thing. I couldn't agree more.

As much as I love Chicago it will be nice to be near the open country. Over the last year I have been wanting to learn the art of gardening, learn and practice methods of being more self-sustaining, and continue to experience consciousness in a less urban environment. Our new homestead will lend itself to those goals. theWife and I are ready to have kids, too, so I'm excited about entering that phase of our life. Neither one of us wanted to have children in Chicago. The cost of living is far too high for us, especially if only one of us is going to be working.

posted by Crackpot! @ 2:02 PM